Monday, January 28, 2008

Old Timers

"In the '60s, if you couldn't get laid at the Euclid Tavern, you couldn't get laid in a women's prison giving out pardons," recalls Cleveland Blues legend Mr. Stress.

That's from last weeks Scene. The Euclid Tavern is open again. I hope that means something, in the long run. There's a lot of rock bars in Cleveland. Dare I say too many? But there is that great east/west divide. Anyway, there's always room (and time) for another drink.

What else is coming back? Face Value. The last time these dudes did a reunion was the last time a decent show graced the Phantasy in Lakewood. I should have never typed the word 'decent' because that show totally fucking ruled. Killed In Action, Ringworm, Face Value. Oh man. This time around we are promised another night of pain as there will be TWO Erbas for the price of one; Upstab is on the bill along with a possible GC5 reunion. Maybe none of this sounds good to you but maybe you're memories are tied up in AP shows at the Grog.

Good times. Bad times. It's all the same and we love to rehash that shit.

Friday, January 18, 2008

The Cleveland Red Carpet

Ah, it's award season in Cleveland again. The papers fight to give props to people who make music in a town which does not support local music. Great. At least there's a free drink ticket or two involved. And, yeah, I am a huge cock and a hypocrite to boot. I used to love going to these shows, getting smashed and feeling important. It makes staring at a half empty Grog Shop a little easier on the eyes.

The Free Times are pushing their faves right now. It's the same old list with one or two note able additions. If you wanted my two cents, it would be to vote for those note able additions. Namely rippers Cheap Tragedies in the category of 'Best Hardcore' and Bim from This Moment as the 'Best Drummer.' Why Erba has again been denied a nod for his bass playing is still a "Best Kept Secret' and a 'Best Metal' with no Insurrect or Skeleton Witch (they did live in Cle for a bit) is just not Metal at all.

It was nice to see Coffinberry again listed among the cities better Indie bands but it's in y'alls hands to make sure they win it this year. I voted. I did my part. This is democracy in it's most retarded and unneeded form. Take advantage. Make sure your musician friends get those coveted drink tickets!

Monday, January 14, 2008

dolphin rape

I saw a fucking dolphin yesterday. Having spent nearly half of life in the Walleye Capitol of the World, this was a huge shock. Like finding out how small your penis really is for the first time. Willie the Walleye is big but that's a marketing ploy, this thing was alive. It could have killed me (or, as I have learned, raped me).

I'm going to see a whale some day soon, too. And I may kill a shark with my bare hands. Fuck it, why not?

Friday, January 4, 2008

The Deathers

I never miss the Tower. I mean 'miss' like pine for or think about. I don't know why that is but I have actually sat at home by myself rather than drive ten minutes to see bands I really love. I think I just have a weird stigma about walking into places like that alone. And I mean 'like that'... well you know what I mean by 'like that'. And the irony (there had to be some) is that when I do get over myself and go to the Tower 2012, I ALWAYS have a fucking blast. Best night in awhile, kind of blast! This was most certainly the case the night after Christmas.

The holidays always bring out the best in rock and roll people. Acquaintances are best friends when you have a twelve pack and a lot of feedback. People hook up. No one regrets a thing until the new year and that's like a week away.

My Christmas gift from Cleveland was the Deathers. I am a big fan of both Jae and Bim. I have written extensively about Jae and his weirdo projects over the past year or so(well, kind of. two pieces for Scene which is one more than I have done about anyone else). And Bim... we got to know each other a little too well a few weeks back. So it needs not to be said that I was very intrigued when I found out over the summer that they were in bed together (musically) and I was very bummed out that I was moving away from such a an odd couple (musically).

Well the shit was not all that odd, really. Pummeling, maybe? Disruptive, for sure. A rollicking drum roll pushed all of us in front into a mess of beer and kicks to the shins and it pressed a wall of noisy hardcore down everyone else's throats. Jae has come to life as a singer within the open field that is the Deathers. Not that Self Destruct Button was not a candy store of creative freedom but here the Deathers give a little bit of rock for the dude to run with. They are really solid for a group of total fuck ups and the crowd reacts just like a group of fuck-up friends should: by taking to the air, giving piggy-back rides through a mist of Black Label and chanting their little hearts out.

"Mosh-Part! Mosh-Part!" being a true revelation.

Sometimes Cleveland creates music that makes me wonder if the old saying about us living a few decades in the past is true. I guess there's truth in everything but if you can forgive the kid on Detroit Road for still wearing his Korn shirt and tilt your ear toward The Deathers, you will discover that being stuck in some parts of history is fantastic. I'm talking about a mix of eighties heavy weights like Black Flag and Cleveland busters The Dark. Maybe some early ninties DC and a lot of mistakes put to bed. The whole potion is toxic and I feel like I could carve their name into my desk, (sigh) if only it was still a few decades ago.

Go see them, please. There's nothing better for you to be doing, anyway. And don't be so douchey, like me. Go to the Tower because those people know how to live.